If you want to create the life of your dreams, it’s going to take work.  Not only the kind of hard work, grind and hustle that motivational quotes talk about.  You will have to do that too…but that’s not it.

To really create the life of your dreams, the first thing you have to do is to define the life of your dreams.  Most people won’t put in that kind of work.  It is easier than ever to lean on the definition of culture, and the opinions of other people and instagram to help us define what success looks like.  But does it really look like that?  The only person that can answer that is you.

What does success look like for you?

For some people, the instagram post in front of the jet is exactly what you are looking for.  But for others, a small piece of land where you can spend time with your family sounds like heaven.  Another person wants to live in a different country in order to serve others.  The definitions of success are as diverse as the number of people there are.  But again, that definition requires you to do the mental work to design it for yourself.

I am reminded of a quote from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  “Some people spend their entire lives climbing the corporate ladder, and when they get to the top, they realize the ladder is leading against the wrong wall.”

And just to be clear, I still struggle with this sometimes too.  It’s so easy to get caught into the trap of “just a little bit more.”  We have some taste of success, so we try to get just a little bit more.  We hit a sales milestone, so we increase our goal (at least that’s what I do).  That can be positive and powerful, as long as you know why.

Why do you want more sales?  Does it increase your success and happiness?  Or as my wife has said to me on my than one occasion, “Sometimes more is just more.”

This is not to say you should not strive.  I am a huge believer in it.  But it needs to be for the right reason.  And only you can define the right reason.  And that work of defining the right reason is foundational.  Once you have it, it’s what you build everything on top of.

So don’t skip the work.  Defining success – for yourself – is some of the most important you can do to create a happy life.  And here’s the thing…only you can do it.

Kirby Hasseman is the CEO of Hasseman Marketing, a full service marketing agency located in Ohio.  Learn more about Hasseman Marketing here.  And if you are interested in have him speak at your next event, you can learn more here.