This is a “note to self.”
Stop looking for reasons to be pissed.
Recently I have been really struggling with this. It seems like every time I turn around, I am frustrated with someone else. I could make a long list of those that have “wronged me” recently. There have been some minor infractions all the way up to things that made me really mad. And yet, as I analyze it, they all have one thing in common.
Being pissed off is not helping me.
I have talked about the challenge of complaining many times. And the biggest one is that it creates a habit loop that makes it easier to complain next time. The same is true for me being frustrated with those around me (and yes, it’s a form of complaining). Every time I see another “infraction” my brain kicks in its habit of complaining and I am no longer in control of my own brain.
And here’s another thing…it keeps me living in the past.
I read a book several years ago called Solve for Happy that talked about creating happiness in our life. And while it covered a lot of ground, the most simple and powerful lesson I took was that I needed to live in the present. The book asked you to line up all of your negative emotions on a piece of paper.
- Fear
- Anger
- Worry
- Frustration
- Anxiety
- Hate
You get the idea. What do all of these have in common? They are all rooted either in the past or the future. You are angry about something that happened yesterday or worried about what might happen tomorrow. None of them are in the present. The secret to happiness, the book said, was to take a few moments to get back to living “in the now.”
There is certainly some truth here for me…right now.
As I look at the things I am frustrated with, they are almost all rooted in the past. And to be candid, they are keeping me from living in the now…and from going on offense.
It’s time to stop looking for reasons to be pissed. It’s time to get happy. And while it is often not as easy as waving a wand, I will get started today by working to live in the present. And that’s a good start.
Kirby Hasseman is the CEO of Hasseman Marketing. Get a copy of his best-selling book “The Give First Economy” for FREE here.
